I have started a new tradition that I want to do every year as the year comes to a close. I want to blog and reflect on the past year and compare where I am now in life to where I was a year ago.
“The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." - Job 1:21 (ESV)
As I reflect, I think this is the verse that sums of 2010 for me. I ended 2009 in a relationship that I felt was going somewhere, at a church that I loved, blessed with an awesome job and not knowing what I truly wanted to do with the rest of my life. Each one of those things are completely different now! I am ending this year SINGLE, at a NEW church that I love, blessed with NO job for this season, and KNOWING what I want to do with the rest of my life.
God does really give and take away, but I believe when He takes something away, He gives something in return. Last year at this time, God told me I needed to change churches to The Village. “WHAT?! God, I work at Gateway. My family and friends go to Gateway. I LOVE Gateway” is what I said in return. I shoved the thought aside... I knew what God told me and was asking of me but I felt as if I wasn’t ready for this kind of change. What would my family, friends, and boyfriend think? Now I know that it is not about THEM, but about Him. A result of my disobedience, my desire for going to church completely vanished. I went to work in the childcare and went home afterwards. The words that were brought forth every weekend did not speak to me in anyway; so I stopped going. From January to October I went to weekend church probably four times.
Next, God told me to break up with my boyfriend. “WHAT? God. I thought you said this guy was the one for me? We fit well together, we are so similar and I love him. He is like my other half.” Once again, I shoved the thought away knowing everything would get better in time, but it didn’t. Not going further into that, it just didn’t work out.
“But this command I gave them: 'Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be my people. And walk in all the way that I command you, that it may be well with you.’” - Jeremiah 7:23 (ESV)
God is teaching me to be obedient to His voice, and obviously it can be challenging to everyone. It is evident that God knows what He is doing... I didn’t want to give up was precious to me to Him, and why not? He does a much better job at controlling my life and future... Better than I can imagine!
Someone told me towards the end of last year that they saw a vision of me... I was kneeling down at a locked door, one of the older ones that it takes an antique key to unlock it. She said I was trying to look through the lock hole to see what was on the other side. When she told me she saw this God told her that He will only reveal one thing to me at a time. “Oh God... I am a planner!!” Which is why its been frustrating when people ask me what I want to do for the rest of my life, until...
Almost a year apart two people I know/look up to got cancer. One got Leukemia and then one got brain cancer. It was devastating to say the least and I prayed for them often, but little did I know what was in store. Cancer would do more than just affect my life. In February 2010, the idea of being a nutritionist was put in my brain and was toyed with. In March, 2 year old Layla Grace who’s story I’d been following died from Neuroblastoma. CLICK. God told me what I was to do. I am to become a nutritionist and work with cancer kids. Cancer was going to BE my life, my passion, my desire; my enemy. Right now, I am in college finishing my first semester pursuing my goal. In 2009, I had NO idea that I’d be here right now.
In October I realized where I was. I was a Christian not going to church. I thought back to my conversation with God in December and realized I needed to obey. Obeying God is Loving God, and I wasn’t showing my love for Him. God took me to The Village church. I knew no one besides my sister besides me, the kid in my lap, and my dear Haley. I felt like Ruth! But the thought of taking on her reckless abandonment was exciting. It hasn’t been easy. People have asked why, some even jumping to conclusions asking why I hate Gateway. I do not, I love Gateway, Gateway is a GREAT church filled with lovely people. I learned to really love God through Gateway, thus, I could never hate my original home. Although it was hard to give up Gateway, God gave me The Village. =) Ruth had to move to be fed spiritually, and so do I.
”And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life.” - Matthew 19:29 (ESV)
I plan on signing up for the Covenant membership class at TVC the next time it comes around. I decided the best way to go about this change was to immediately get plugged in. Since October 30th, I’ve gone to a conference, signed up and am in a home group, and have decided to serve in the Sr. High youth and am starting that process. Not forgetting that I got to meet so many new awesome people!
God TOOK away my church, but GAVE me a new one. God TOOK away my job, and GAVE me a new one (nanny for 8 months this year). God TOOK my boyfriend and GAVE me fullness in Christ. You cannot be complete until you realize you are full in Christ... You will always be searching for more, never being content.
This has been the most eventful year of my life so far! It is getting better and better, and all because I chose to give God control rather than myself. Where would I be if I didn’t?
